I feel like i have missed something. I feel like there must have been a few phases of my life that I have skipped.
This is what I have been taught by my mom, my dad, my teachers, my peers, my society:
First you must be an excellent student. When school is finished, you must be someone who makes a lot of money and has a high social status, someone who others look up to and admire, an inspiration of sort. Then you must continue to climb the social ladder, marry a fine girl, have some children.
Then you can be happy.
That is the blueprint, the ideal path that leads to a “fulfilling”,”worthy” life. You must crave for more, fight for more, struggle for more.You must endure hardship, the ups and downs of the journey to achieve Greatness. Only by this way, as society said, can you be satisfied with your current state, can you let go and enjoy, can you be HAPPY.
Shit. I’m 17. And I’m happy as fuck. I wake up and do what I love to do. I read, I do my research. I socialize, get together with friends, share a couple of dirty jokes and laugh like a bunch of hyenas. I’m pretty content with my life.
But I used to worship that blueprint, I used to have a grand vision of how big I’m going to make it in life, I used to be obssessed with success. But now I realized, all those external forces, all the shining medals, the money, the luxurious $ $ are the biggest lie we have deceived ourselves.
Don’t get me wrong, we can not live without materialistic necessity, but are we blowing its importance out of propotion? Yes. Yes we are.
We are neglecting the essential ingredient, your soul. Are you in good terms with your values, your beliefs? When was the last time you did some reflection on the purposes of your doings? Are you happy?
All that being said, I chose a different path. It’s pretty lonely here. I dont see alot of people on this road so it makes me question my decisions in life, whether I make the right turns at the crossroads. I don’t have much plans as my peers, they seem so oriented, all rushing to chase something. A goal, a destination.
I’m still so young, if Im already happy. Will my life be better or worse for this? I dont know, just have to wait and see.
Funny to think about it, if I already got the end result, if I have already “made it”, society can’t tell me nothing.
00.49. 7/11/2016. Sleep.
This is a pic of me looking pretty relaxed and happy.