“[…] One bad day away […]”

About 3 or 4 months ago, I watched the famous The Killing Joke, an animated movie about the birth of Joker and the tragic death of a failed comedia, metaphorically of course, because they are the same person.

Now that I’m on quite a different vibe, I see another layer to The Joker’s philosophy in this movie:

“Every sane man is just one bad day away from me”. The Joker.

I understood it intellectually the first time. But I feel it now, I can see how it would play out with me going insane . He was talking about some kind of momentum, the destructive momentum of a hurricane. Like a snowflake rolling downhill with the slopes have acid, alcohol and gasoline. Once you get carried away with it, suddenly, the whole world turns red and everyone is fucking ugly, irrational and extremely hostile. Your precious, classy, respectful girl would approach every guys and forget all about you in Hoi An. The bed would get so stuffy and the clothes don’t even fit you right. I want to tear everything apart. I want to sceam and let hell break loose up on this motherfucker.

The voices start to creep in slowly, like Arnold if he was an emo 14.
“Ooh, they be laughing at you” “Ooh, they be watching you, they be judging you” “Look at the bunch of high school children all giggling for the joy of such pathetic, alienated creature like you”

Something bad happens to people everyday, they all seem capable of coping with it, don’t they? But what if all the bad things happen to you happen in one day, just one day without you even knowing if you would make it ’til tomorrow, would you be sane still? 

The Joker said: Absolutely not! You would go bat-shit cray cray. He wants to prove our special thing we dyingly holding onto (ego, identification) is just fragile as a candelion. 

I, personally, agree with him that it is easily broken like arms of an elder veteran. But what is left is not the beast like he is, I’m with Batman on that.

Realizing this and writing it down cost me my sadness. I felt alone and lost but now I’m lost in thoughts instead.

Windy IPH. 14h:25. I missed another fucking movie hangout. Nhung is working, I’m all alone and it sucks. Karma?