Diary no5 280217

It’s been a while. I’m still here.

Hanging. Studying. Surviving.

I’m not actually doing anything at the moment, come to think of it. I write from time to time, I try to train 3 times a week, I spend as much time with my girl as I can. I try to sleep well, I try to eat well, I know that I ought to study much, much harder.

A lot of intentions, few actions. Few actual actions.

I don’t my mind into my doings anymore, which is sad to realize. I dabble from place to place, not yet sure what my current mindset is. I believe I’m still “healing”, a time to reflect and feel myself, to tweak my behavior and my way of living.

Yet. I feel like that’s an excuse. I feel like I am bitching my way through the days, not really trying anything. Chill out is necessary, but I think I may have overused it.

In short, I’m feeling numb, acting lazy.

I know I have got treasure in my mind but couldn’t open my own vault.