There’s something oddly satisfying about being productive. Time seems to be your friend. Everything intertwines in a harmonious rhythm.
Today is quite a good day. I can still push foward but that would likely make me very tired tomorrow. I did my Maths more than I expected. I did my Literature. I hit the gym. I went to the bank. I was there when my girl needed me.
Living life one day at a time seems to be a good strategy. It makes it easier to stay focus and accomplish more goals.
So tomorrow I will continue to do more. I will skip gym tomorrow because it’s very tight of a schedule and it may be too much for me. I will do English in the afternoon and see how well I am truly doing with my strongest subject. Late at night will be time for meditation and reading. I will treat myself with that instead of masturbating.
Last night I found it hard to sleep. There was a thought occupying my mind: I’m actually not very good at a few things that I think I’m good at. I always think I somewhat have a silver tounge so every activities involve talking will be my natural strength. I was wrong. I’m really not good at public speaking.
10th grade hit me hard with that fact. I was just normal in my presetations. I don’t like being normal in things I take pride on so naturally it hurts.
12th grade I sucked at the English speaking Contest, I couldn’t stay cool under pressure and got cut off.
I’m also not very good at team-work. I didn’t really participate much in club activities.
Those are hard, concrete facts that I have to accept. And only from acceptance can I practice be better.
Daily Journal #28
16 05 17