I feel like it is important for me to meticulously document my thoughts, feelings and overall moods in the upcoming days.
I suspect meeting Frank Yang has triggered something inside me. I feel much more at ease. I can handle negative feelings without getting personal and emotional. I can objectively reassess my viewpoint and perspective.
Now, after a long time, I feel connected with my brother. I feel like I can put myself into his shoes withouth putting my own biases and personal preferences. I realized I have always been unfairly judgemental about him. I realized I have been projecting my own perspective on his circumstances. I realized I was being egotistical in my relationship with him. I realized he is not a failure I have been framing him to be. I neglected the many issues revolving around him, I didn’t factor in the difference in personality, in the upbringing of ours and other dramatical trama that he might have endured as a first-born son. I don’t want to keep on carrying a sense of disgust and hatred towards my brother. I want to care for him, get to know him and his world. I feel like I have been an asshole to him.
Frank Yang is the most curious man I have ever met and also the most knowledgable and wise man. I’m positive there is a correlation between these twos. I realized I have been so arrogant and naive in my approach to acquiring knowledge and wisdom. I ask too little questions and have too high of an opinion on myself. If Frank Yang took notes of everything I said, I should be paying close attention to anything anyone say. I feel like the most vantage point one could have is to listen, to receive.
So instead of jumping to a conclusion, I should ponder more, be more receptive and open to new ideas, new people and new experiences.