Hmmm… Am I in a crisis?

Just a few thoughts that have been lurking around for too long.

I’m in the midst, surrounded by doubts, confusions and hormonal issues; typical teenager stuff.
I want to get back to writing, that would help with straightening out a good daily routine, and also clearing the fogs inside my head.

I don’t know where I’m going, I don’t even know where I am, not literally of course. I would like to believe that I’m a young bamboo, oozing deep in the earthy ground, appearing to be stagnant, but actually undergoing some underground structural changes. I would like to believe that all the work I’m putting in my schedule is helping to groom me out, tweak my weak spots, enhance my overall mental physique. In short, I hope this will all pay off in the end.

I would like to know that all these irritating feelings are the actual purification of my character. I want to believe in the process, to be patient, to endure and push through more.

I’m inside the belly of the subconscious beast, curling myself into a fetus position, wraping my arms around my knees, with hope in my head.

Otherwise, this is just another minor depression. Why am I depressed? I have a part-time job, although just a small amount, but still making money. I have a position in an established organization, in which I could learn so much. I even have a small little society, in which my deepest curiosity is welcome. I’m joing the gym for more than 2 months and starting again my meditation habit for a week now.

Why do I still feel this boredom?

Is this the defense of my ego? Is this the refusal to work and change myself into a new, more productive, healthier way? Deep down, what is going on?

I would write, I would write a lot. If I’m in a depression or some sort, I would battle with it head-on.

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2 comments

  1. Slender Man · December 27

    Just noticed you have a blog. I read a few posts you posted earlier and wanted to comment them but looks like they’ve been closed. So yeah, gotta comment on this one to ask some questions 🙂
    1. How tall are you that 52kg makes you look scrawny?
    2. Where did you get those LSD tabs? If it weren’t you who bought it, you mind asking Nhung for me? Kinda in the mood for that 🙂
    Thanks for your time anyway

    Like

    • beingcaokhanh · December 28

      Hey man, thanks for reading my stuff.

      I always thought I’m 1m72-ish but turns out I’m just 1m69. And the LSD is a gift from a close friend, can’t really go into further detail here (because we are talking about dealing drugs lol) but you can inbox me on Facebook if you want to get some.

      Like

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