After struggling in discomfort, I have finally agreed to watch this movie with Nhung. This is so not my kind of movies for a Sunday evening. But the things we would do for love: I watched it.
And it got me thinking, feeling, reflecting.
This is a movie about love. The story revolves around the dynamic relationship of 2 couples: one failed novelist and a stripper/waitress, a depressive artist and a brute doctor. They fell in love and started fucking like crazy. But the desire for guilty pleasure and bodily satisfactions eventually led to a frenzy of cheating.
While watching the events unfold, I couldn’t have but thinking about my own views on love and relationship.
Is it true that we can never be satisfied with one lover, to say monogamous? Are we programmed at birth to cheat and betray our partners? Jude Law (in the movie) said that struck me hard:
I want her because she doesn’t need me
If you chase love, love fleets; but if you ignore it, love follows. That’s a roughly translated version of a common saying in Vietnamese about love.
We grow bore of each other, the fiery sensation when the love was raw dies out, leaving us in a tormenting dilemma: stay with your love, or part ways.
I do not think that is the truest experience of love. I think that we are over-romanticizing love. We put great emphasis on the FALLING IN LOVE part. Everything is shiny, pinky and positivy: the prince charming misses a heartbeat when he sees the princess, and through extremely smooth Tinder-godlike skill, they marry in 5 seconds. But few stories tell us what happens in the next 5 months, 5 years or 5 decades. Happy ever after is just an extension of that FALLING IN LOVE part.
I believe that falling in love is easy, but the hard part is stay in love. It’s like a circle with yin and yang that forms True Love. Only when we devote time and effort to maintain, revitalize and commit can our relationships develop to theirs best. We must accept that love will die out, that feelings for others might arrive and fucking BEAR WITH IT. Those moments are opportunities for your loyalty, devotion, commitment to blossom.
Love is messy.
And like the yin and yang symbol, love will go circle. You must have faith in love, the fiery sensation will return. If you refuse to embrace the yin, the yang won’t last long either.
Nhung’s place. 11h16ph. 16 04 17.