What a shame that I can barely remember my dreams the last 3 days, which probably is the result of insomnia. I stay up until 2 and struggle to lose myself into sleep.
But…today is different. I dreamt something disturbing again:
I had a prophetic vision about killing a man, sticking the kitchen knife to his neck and put pressure onto it. That man was my father, later in the dream I realized. I came home, went straight to kitchen, ate some ice-cream and took a knife. My dad said hi like nothing was out of usual. I rushed to him and attempted to slit his throat.
At this point I was horrified. I knew what I was doing is horribly wrong but was helpless. I could not do anything to stop myself, as if the prophecy was meant to be realized.
My dad pushed me out in shock, but eventually I got on top of him and pressed the knife right on his neck, some blood dripped out onto the blade.
Mom came in, calmly and gently asked me what was going on. Dad and I stood up. And we watched television together.
Now. I am not even going to try to comprehend the meaning behind the dreams. This is too much. I guess I’m having a slight mental breakdown, especially on relationships. I miss a girl. But I’m sad because she seems to be having the time of her life, which is very understandable and very selfish of me to even be sad. But still, sad I am.
Also, I “caught a wind” and having light headaches right now. So that could fuck my mind up and cause this weird dream.